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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?